STUDY 4: PRINCIPLE 3: LIVE IN BROKENNESS AND VULNERABILITY
In Study3 we saw that the way we do things now is influenced by the way we saw things done in our past. Looking honestly at our families in order to break the power of the past (Principle 2) drives all of us to brokenness.
Living in brokenness and vulnerability means that, in all my relationships, I carry with me the profound awareness and humility that I'm not perfect-that I fall short, and not by a little.
CONNECT
Being open and honest is a hard thing to do. It only gets harder when we feel judged, criticized, or backed in to a corner.
1. Think of a relationship, small group, or church where you felt safe enough to readily admit your mistakes, accept correction, and talk about your struggles. What ingredients made that place safe for you?
2. Can you think of someone in your life who models brokenness and vulnerability well? Describe them in your own words.
BIBLE STUDY
Read Joshua 3
1. In pairs tell each the story with as much detail as possible. Swap roles and see what the other person can recall.
2. As a group try and cover all the story details
3. What stands out for you in this story?
4. What do you think caused the water to damn at Adam?
5. Why did the priests have to stand in the water? Why was that Vulnerable? Why was this vulnerability reassuring?
Read 2 Corinthians 4:7-12 and 2 Cor 12:7-10
If there was a man who could have chosen to live solely out of his strengths and accomplishments, it was Paul-writer of half of the New Testament, biblical scholar, church-planter extraordinaire, unrivaled missionary, and spiritual father to multitudes. The Corinthians had difficulty grasping Paul's message of "weakness and imperfection." When other "super apostles" arrived at the church in Corinth, they captivated the Corinthians with displays of signs and revelations. Yet, time and time again, instead of appealing to his successes and gifts, Paul chose to "boast in his weaknesses" and live in brokenness and vulnerability.
3. How does Paul's attitude in 2 Cor 4:7-12 ensure that God gets the glory?
4. Why did God give Paul a thorn in the flesh?
How did it impact his character and life?
5.
Can you imagine the kind of
person and apostle Paul might have been without this thorn.
6. What might be a few "thorns" God has entrusted you with?
How have they positively impacted your character and life?
APPLICATIONS
/ EXERCISES
In the world, it is always "best foot forward." Putting together a resume
is often an exercise in highlighting our strengths, accomplishments, and gifts. Christians are aware of these but also our
weaknesses. We don’t hide our need for God to
shine through and for each other (No Christian has all the gifts of the Spirit
and we all need each other’s
encouragement.)
If you need some encouragement, consider a few sample "resumes" of some well-known biblical figures (EHC, pp. 129-30):
• John Mark deserted Paul but wrote the gospel.
• Timothy had ulcers but became a leader.
• Hosea's wife was a prostitute.
• Jacob was a liar.
• David had an affair, murdered, and wrote some honest Psalms.
• Moses was a murderer and a leader.
• Jonah ran from God's will.
• Gideon and Thomas both doubted.
• Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal.
• Elijah was burned out.
• Noah got drunk.
Remember, God has been using cracked vessels all through history in order to "show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us" (2 Cor. 4:7).
9. Write a first draft of your "Resume of Strengths and Weakness" before God.
Name: _________________________________________
God has called me and gifted me
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Strengths in your training or education Example: Peter learned from Jesus
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Deficiencies in your training or education Example: Peter was not professionally trained in the Bible
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Gifts and/or skills: "I'm good at…
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Missing gifts and/or skills: "I'm not good at |
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Personality or temperament Strengths.
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Personality or temperament flaws: Example: Thomas was prone toward skepticism and doubt.
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Positive events in my past. |
Questionable aspects of your past history and testimony: "I used to ... " Example: Paul was a former persecutor.
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10. Why is it uncomfortable sometimes to hear the "flaws" and "struggles" of our leaders?
Wrapping up
One of the scariest things in the world is to be ourselves. Only by God's grace and by a deep, intimate knowledge of his love and affection can we find the courage to live out a broken and vulnerable life. Pray that God will replace your fears with a surrender to his perfect love.
Going DEEPER
• Pray through the two styles of leadership: proud/defensive vs. broken/vulnerable. Think of some changes God might be leading you to make so that your life will be characterized more by brokenness and vulnerability.
■ Spend time meditating on Rembrandt's painting "The Return of the Prodigal Son"
8. Using the list below, or using the full list on pages 120-121 of The Emotionally Healthy Church, evaluate your spirituality by circling the answer that tends to describe you.
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Proud/Defensive
1. I am guarded/defensive. 2. I focus on the "positive," strong, successful parts of myself. 3. I am highly "offendable" and defensive. 4. I give my opinion a lot, even when not asked. 5. I blame others. 6. I am demanding. 7. I keep people from really seeing what is going on inside of me.
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Broken
1. I am open/weak. 2. I am aware of the weak, needy, limited parts of who lam. 3. I am approachable and open. 4. I am slow to speak and quick to listen. 5. I take responsibility for myself -and speak mostly in the "I," not the "you" or "they." 6. I assert myself respectfully and kindly. 7. I delight in showing vulnerability and weakness, that Christ's power may be seen in me.
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FOR reflection
In the areas where you are "Proud/Defensive," can you think of a life experience that reinforced your need to respond in that manner (e.g. a critical father, being misjudged, being gossiped about)?
In the areas where you are "Broken," how did God build that into your character? .
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