Emotionally Healthy Spirituality STUDY 5 the gift of Limits

 

EHS STUDY 5 the gift of Limits

In Study 4, we learned how God uses the weaknesses of our lives to move in spiritual power and love, and we noted that none of us walks through a fallen world without a few "cracks" to show for it.  As we begin to live in brokenness and vulnerability, we become increasingly aware of our limits. This becomes one of the most difficult lessons to learn in life: that each of us is profoundly limited in who we can be and what we can do, and that these limits are actually a gift from God.

CONNECT

1.        What is one task can you spend hours at and still be enthusiastic?

What is one task that drains you and you seek to avoid?

STARTERS

2.            On a    scale of 1 -4  (1    not true,2 = sometimes true,3 = mostly true,=4  very true), rate yourself on the following:

·         too little time and too much to do            _________        

·         Constantly feeling pressured or restless_________

·         breaking promises of quality time with family or friends _________

·         resenting some of your commitments and projects _________

·         trying to live beyond who you are or what you can do with the limits God has given you _________

        How does this impact your inner joy in God, in your close relationships, and in your service for Christ?

 

 BIBLE STUDY

3.       Read Mark 1:32-39.

What stands out for you in this passage?

Why do you think they were looking for Jesus?

What do you think the disciples thought when Jesus told them they were going to move on to other villages?

What does Jesus say his motivating reason is?

4.            In what situations is it difficult for you to say no? Why? 

5.            What allow Jesus to have a sense of completion and satisfaction in his work (JN 17:4)?

 

6.            Read Mark 2:13-17

                What stands out for you in this passage?

                Describe what you know about the Pharisees?

The teachers of the Law and Pharisees  tried to impose their values on Jesus but he refused to be controlled or limited by others.   How does he manage to do that?

Brett talked about “Oughts” and “shoulds.” How do you manage the tension between doing what you or others think you ought to do versus what you want to do or God is calling you do to?

                What might be some of the consequences if you go beyond what God has asked you to do?

APPLICATIONS

 7.           While our culture resists the idea of limits, it is critical that we embrace them. Take a moment and list some of the limits God has given you at this stage of your life. Consider the following categories:

•                     personality/temperament

•                     number of talents/gifts

•                     scars and wounds from your family and past

•                     emotional needs and capacity

•                     relational status (married or single) and family obligations

•                     place where you live

•                     finances and resources

•                     intellectual capacity

•                     spiritual understanding

•                     other

Share two or three significant limits God has placed in your life. Instead of seeing these limits as our "enemies," how might they be our "friends" from God?

 

   

 

 

 

8.            What do you think it might look like for you to be faithful to your "true self,"  i.e. the person God uniquely created you to be?

In what way(s) is that more difficult than living out what other people, authorities, or the culture think you should do with your life?

 

  Wrapping up

Maturity in life is when we live joyfully within our God-given limits. Take a few minutes and pray for one another that each of you might live a life that fits your God-given nature, a· life faithful to your true self, a life that gladly reflects your God-given weaknesses and limitations.

 

GOING DEEPER

■             Pray through the list of limits you made for question7 and begin to thank God for each one of them. Ask him to show you how to receive them as a gift from him instead of a curse or hindrance.

Emptionally healhty spirituality STUDY 4: PRINCIPLE 3: LIVE IN BROKENNESS AND VULNERABILITY

 

STUDY 4: PRINCIPLE 3: LIVE IN BROKENNESS AND VULNERABILITY  

 

In Study3 we saw that the way we do things now is influenced by the way we saw things done in our past. Looking honestly at our families in order to break the power of the past (Principle 2) drives all of us to brokenness.

Living in brokenness and vulnerability means that, in all my relationships, I  carry with me the profound awareness and humility that I'm not perfect-that I fall short, and not by a little.

 

CONNECT

 Being open and honest is a hard thing to do. It only gets harder when we feel judged, criticized, or backed in to a corner.

1.         Think of a relationship, small group, or church where you felt safe enough to readily admit your mistakes, accept correction, and talk about your struggles. What ingredients made that place safe for you?

 

2.         Can you think of someone in your life who models brokenness and vulnerability well? Describe them in your own words.

 

 BIBLE STUDY

 

Read Joshua 3

1.       In pairs tell each the story with as much detail as possible. Swap roles and see what the other person can recall.

2.        As a group try and cover all the story details

3.       What stands out for you in this story?

4.       What do you think caused the water to damn at Adam?

5.       Why did the priests have to stand in the water?  Why was that Vulnerable? Why was this vulnerability reassuring?

 

Read 2 Corinthians 4:7-12  and 2 Cor 12:7-10

If there was a man who could have chosen to live solely out of his strengths and accomplishments, it was Paul-writer of half of the New Testament, biblical scholar, church-planter extraordinaire, unrivaled missionary, and spiritual father to multitudes. The Corinthians had difficulty grasping Paul's message of "weakness and imperfection."  When other "super apostles" arrived at the church in Corinth, they captivated the Corinthians with displays of signs and revelations. Yet, time and time again, instead of appealing to his successes and gifts, Paul chose to "boast in his weaknesses" and live in brokenness and vulnerability.

 

3.       How does Paul's attitude in 2 Cor 4:7-12 ensure that God gets the glory?

4.        Why did God give Paul a thorn in the flesh?

            How did it impact his character and life?

5.       Can you imagine the kind of person and apostle Paul might have been without this thorn.

 

 

 

 6.        What might be a few "thorns" God has entrusted you with?

            How have they positively impacted your character and life?

 

 

APPLICATIONS / EXERCISES
In the world, it is always "best foot forward." Putting together a resume is often an exercise in highlighting our strengths, accomplishments, and gifts.  Christians are aware of these but also our weaknesses. We don’t hide our need for God to shine through and for each other (No Christian has all the gifts of the Spirit and we all need each other’s encouragement.)

If you need some encouragement, consider a few sample "resumes" of some well-known biblical figures  (EHC, pp. 129-30):

•           John Mark deserted Paul but wrote the gospel.

•           Timothy had ulcers but became a leader.

•           Hosea's wife was a prostitute.

•           Jacob was a liar.

•           David had an affair, murdered, and wrote some honest Psalms.

•           Moses was a murderer and a leader.

•           Jonah ran from God's will.

•           Gideon and Thomas both doubted.

•           Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal.

•           Elijah was burned out.

•           Noah got drunk.

 

Remember, God has been using cracked vessels all through history in order to "show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us" (2 Cor. 4:7).

 

9.         Write a first draft of your "Resume of Strengths and Weakness" before God.

 

Name:              _________________________________________

God has called me and gifted me

 

Strengths in your training or education Example: Peter learned from Jesus	Deficiencies in your training or education Example: Peter was not professionally trained in the Bible
Gifts and/or skills: "I'm good at…	Missing gifts and/or skills: "I'm not good at
Personality or temperament Strengths.	Personality or temperament flaws: Example: Thomas was prone toward skepticism and doubt.
Positive events in my past.	Questionable aspects of your past history and testimony: "I used to ... " Example: Paul was a former persecutor.

 

 

10.       Why is it uncomfortable sometimes to hear the "flaws" and "struggles" of our leaders?

 

 

Wrapping up

One of the scariest things in the world is to be ourselves. Only by God's grace and by a deep, intimate knowledge of his love and affection can we find the courage to live out a broken and vulnerable life. Pray that God will replace your fears with a surrender to his perfect love.

 

Going DEEPER

•           Pray through the two styles of leadership: proud/defensive vs. broken/vulnerable.  Think of some changes God might be leading you to make so that your life will be characterized more by brokenness and vulnerability.

 

■          Spend time meditating on Rembrandt's painting "The Return of the Prodigal Son"   

Or read prayerfully Henri Nouwen's book The Return of the Prodigal Son (Doubleday, 1992).

 

 

8.         Using the list below, or using the full list on pages 120-121 of The Emotionally Healthy Church, evaluate your spirituality by circling the answer that tends to describe you.

 

 

Proud/Defensive   1.         I am guarded/defensive. 2.         I focus on the "positive," strong, successful parts of myself. 3.          I am highly "offendable" and defensive. 4.         I give my opinion a lot, even when not asked. 5.         I blame others. 6.         I am demanding. 7.         I keep people from really seeing what is going on inside of me.

Broken   1.  I am open/weak. 2.  I am aware of the weak, needy, limited parts of who lam. 3.  I am approachable and open. 4.  I am slow to speak and quick to listen. 5. I take responsibility for myself -and speak mostly in the "I," not the                                "you" or "they." 6.   I assert myself respectfully and kindly. 7.   I delight in showing vulnerability and weakness, that Christ's power may be seen in me.

 

FOR reflection

In the areas where you are "Proud/Defensive," can you think of a life experience that reinforced your need to respond in that manner (e.g. a critical father, being misjudged, being gossiped about)?  

 

In the areas where you are "Broken," how did God build that into your character? .