Velcro Churches
by Rick
Chromey
It’s
funny what a walk in the woods can do. George
de Mestral, a Swedish electrical engineer in the 1940s, was fascinated with
burdock seeds and how they attached themselves to his dog and clothing. George
studied the special “hook” design of these seeds and subsequently created
Velcro.
Velcro is
sticky stuff. The tiniest patch has substantial strength and countless uses.
You can hang pictures. Seal clothing from cold or rain. Secure shoes and batten
down covers. You can even use Velcro to stick a body against a wall. Velcro is
a lot of fun.
Ironically,
when Velcro is separated and isolated, it loses all its stickiness. It’s just a patch of nylon hooks
and polyester cloth with the potential for connection.
Humans
are like Velcro. Isolation happens, but like snowflakes, watch what happens
when we stick together. We get stronger. We last longer. We seal and secure. We
even have fun. God specially designed humans for connection and community. We
have relational hooks. In fact, if we don’t belong, it’s so long.
I’ve
introduced my “Rule of Threes” before but let me expand and
explore these principles because they’re markers that guide social “stickiness”
(attraction and retention). It’s what draws, pulls, invites, joins, and caps.
3 MINUTES
(FIRST-TIMER): It only
takes minutes for a visitor to decide if he or she will return. It’s why guest
relations or “front-door evangelism” are key. A visitor has only two needs to
scratch: security and pleasure. First-timers (regardless of age
or context) want to know if your church is a safe place—physically and
emotionally—and will it be an enjoyable experience. Failure to meet this need
produces discomfort, and that’s enough to look elsewhere (one and done).
3 VISITS
(FOLLOWER):
Returning guests usually need just three experiences to decide to “camp.” By
now they feel good about your church but are carrying a different need to feed:
belonging. Does the guest sense connection and community? Are they making
friends? Failure to meet this need produces disconnection and a
potential exit.
3 MONTHS
(FRIEND):
The path to “membership” solidifies at the three-month mark when guests
now view themselves as “regular” members who sense community. At this point the
need shifts to new wants: grace and dignity. The new member
desires to feel freedom (“Can I be me?”) and value (“Am I important?”). Too
many churches like to rush these new “friends” into leadership roles for which
they’re ill-prepared or ignore them as they refocus on attracting and retaining
“newbies.” However, failure at this point produces disappointment and
that can create bad attitudes and unexpected departures.
3X3 or
NINE MONTHS (FAMILY): Usually
by the nine-month mark, a regular attender is ready for leadership roles.
They’ve attended long enough to understand routines, core beliefs, traditions
and values. They feel a part of the family. The need now shifts to empowerment.
Is this a place where I can grow, contribute, and make a difference? Failure at
this juncture introduces disengagement and retreat.
3 YEARS
(FAN):
Productive contribution and leadership is what creates a raving fan. As Jesus
modeled, it takes this long to disciple a core member to reproduce the vision
and values of your church. If this doesn’t happen, the individual will likely
give up and move on. A “fan” is a church’s best evangelist, worker, and leader.
Fans draw attention and affection. Fans invite others into the vision. Fans fan
the flame that grows attendance, enthusiasm, passion, and commitment.
The Rule
of Threes.
Like
Velcro, they’re the hooks for true connection.
And
they’re always working.
Rick Chromey
You may have heard that David moved back to NZ from
Melbourne last Christmas and moved in with Paul and Mary in Gisborne. He has a job as the accounts administrator
for the Gisborne Towing Company and works full time. He has bought himself a nice car and he, Paul
and Mary enjoy each other’s company. It
is great when Paul works night shift at his restaurant as Mary has some company
besides their 2 dogs (Fergus and Oscar).
Paul enjoys his job at the Vines – a Winery restaurant, and Mary has
been working at the ASB bank, but has moved from part time to Casual which
takes the stress of having to push credit cards or extra loans which she didn’t
enjoy. We have been up to Gisborne a few
times lately as Brett has been on the interview panel for a Church looking for
a new minister and we also went up for Paul and Mary’s 6th Wedding
anniversary. We will go up there again
on Christmas day and have Christmas dinner with them and Mary’s family. Our two families have gotten on really well
and Mary’s Mum (Azure) has stayed with us a few times as she has travelled to
Palmerston north as she has been completing her degree in social work.
We have had our usual
run of international students stay with us this year. We have some from Myanmar, Cambodia, China
and Timor Leste. Some are here for a 7
week English program for Government officials and others are longer term EIT
students. The picture has Jackson from
China who has moved on to Waikato University.
We like following them on Facebook and to see how they flourish over the
years. Last January we were really
blessed to have a Japanese boy who had lived with us about 7 or 8 years ago
come to NZ and visit us. We were on
vacation in Nelson and so he and his family flew to Nelson for 1 day just to
meet us. At the moment we also have
Peter from China back with us who lived with us 2 years ago. He is continuing his
Wine Science Degree this year but needed somewhere to stay between flats. We still have John Graham with us who has
been with us 4 years now. John takes
charge of the animals (and students) when we go away.
Sue has had a few
trips to Nelson to see her mother who is a sprightly lady in her 90th
year. Sue has a very
busy time as EIT international accommodation officer so before each semester
starts and when other groups come
through (such as the English Langauage training for Government officials for 7
weeks 3 times a year.) She still goes to
Yoga each week when she can and tried a Body Balance course at the local
gym. She enjoyes her card classes and
craft group. She has been in the same
bible study group for about 6 years so the members are good friends.
